**previously, on Farnia...*
"Hah, CHEQUERED." NiKewl says and cradles her RBG. "There's one left. Down there." NiKewl points to the blonde zombie with her index finger.
"Yah. Let's kill her." MORGON and NiKewl jump from the stands in unison and land back into the playing field. Without saying anything, NiKewl and MORGON approach the zombie. The zombie stays still, knowing her death is near. NiKewl forces the blonde into a kneeling position and then she points her RBG to the blonde zombies temple. MORGON does the same with her acid gun.
"And Shepards we shall be, for thee, my lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand, so that our feet may swiftly carry out they commands. And we shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. Et Nomadre Patre, Et Fili, Spirtus Sancti."
*BOOM*
***
Emalay's fat rolls giggle against her thighs. Her multiple double chins smack against her now-saggy boobs and the thick beard under her crusty lips are itching her dry skin. Neptune's preservers! Emalay thinks to herself. She has Holly-fied.
***
With the blonde zombie finally dead, MORGON and NiKewl turn to face Cassia and Trevor.
"Get out of here, Trevor." NiKewl says.
"Um, okay. Whatever." Trevor swagger-walks out of the stadium, stepping over arms, legs, and various genitalia blown and ripped off from Nikewl and MORGON's blows.
"You, Cassia-" MORGON points over to Cassia. She's standing there, holding a string of crayola colored balloons, looking unsure.
"What?" Cassia says, and pokes at the red balloon with a penis-face drawing on it.
"I've seen you around skewl." MORGON states. "Which means you're not a Rough Rider. You've got guts, telling me not to kill you."
"WELL I'M NOT A PUSSAY." Cassia says, and stops fondling the balloon.
"We're um..." MORGON gulps and glances around nervously. "We're short one Tourettei member."
"What happened to her?"
"We think she was kidnapped." MORGON says and cross her arms, wondering if Emalay is okay. Of course she is... MORGON tries to calm down. Emalay can take care of herself...
"You know, I don't know why we haven't thought of this before..." NiKewl turns toward MORGON. "But wouldn't a possible suspect for Emalay's kidnapping be the... fifth missing Rough Rider?"
"You're right!" MORGON puts a finger to her lip, thinking. "He was here at the stadium in the beginning of The Game... then he dissappeared. And so did Emalay."
"Do you think we can track him...?" NiKewl whispers, desperate for Emalay's safe return to Sioux Falls.
"I don't know..."
"I think I can help you with that!!" Cassia shouts and runs over to where MORGON and Nikewl are standing together. "I have a very reliable tracking device in my head. I'm able to follow their spirt energy."
"Spirit energy?" Nikewl questions, raising her eyebrows. Did she mean their ultimate Tourettei supermode?
"Yes." Cassia sets her balloons down on the ground. It's a good thing there's a sandbag on the strings as a weight, our they would float away. "Right now, both of your spirit energy is at a medium level, because you just got done fighting all those people. But if you had released your spirit energy, it would be very high, and you would have been fighting at your ultimate strength."
"You're definately talking about our Tourrettei supermode." MORGON says. "It's basically the same thing. Me and Nikewl only release it for emergency's, because we don't want the Holly's to detect us and capture us."
"A fitting explanation." Cassia puts.
"Alright, enough chatter. We need to pitter patter after Emalay's supermode trail, before it fades too quickly for us to detect it."
"Right." MORGON and Cassia say together and they head out of the stadium towards the doughnut hovercrafts.
***
Jeremy remembers where he put the spare key. He reaches into his back pocket and unfolds his hand to reveal a shining green glass key. What Emalay doesn't know is that Jeremy has powers too. He can stretch his body to incredible lengths, sort of like Mrs. Incredible.
Jeremy stretches his arm under the door and brings it to the front. He unlocks the door. Jeremy is free!
"Oh no." Jeremy gasps when he sees Emalay -completely hollyfied- on the floor. "Oh shit." He breaks into a run down the metal hallway of the space ship, just as an alarm starts to sound. "THE AUTOPILOT!" Jeremy races down the rest of the hallway until he reaches the cockpit. He grabs the steering wheel and forces the ship upward, just barely grazing the top of a radio tower. "Shit, shit, shit..."
A button on his dashboard lights up.
"Jesus, not the cloaking device! Shit!" Jeremy's ship is now fully revealed to the world. He couldn't let any civilian see his ship, or they would try to shoot him down. Flying by hovercraft was illegal. Only Tourrettei's were allowed to do so.
And Jeremy was no longer an official Tourrettei.
***
"Her trail is very high up..." Cassia states, her faces tilted toward the clear blue sky. The sun is shining, so Cassia has to squint. "I think he took her to a ship an flew away."
"GODDAMN!" MORGON shouts and kicks the grass. "We need to go get the doughnuts."
"'kay." Nikewl says and they all go to the parking lot.
It's empty.
"Shit! Where did all of our damn hovercraft doughnuts go...?" Nikewl hisses. "We fucking need those!"
"How will we find Emalay now...?" MORGON whispers, forlorn.
***
Meanwhile, China, with her associates Kobe, Winston, and Buddy, push the hovercraft doughnuts off a cliff and watch them crash and burn.
"THAT'LL TEACH 'EM!" China says in her most ghetto voice.
"What did Emalay do, anyway?" Winston asked.
"Didn't give me no fuckin' treats yesterdays. Betches." China pulls her cap lower over her faces and trots away from the edge of a cliff.
***
"Fuck." Jeremy lands on a cliff, all of the gas in his hovercraft spent. It's a mircale no one spotted his ship on the way here. He lands as carefully as he can under the circumstances, and lands on the edge of the cliff with a grinding noise that would put anyone's teeth on edge, even a Holly.
"Now where's my damn Holly pills???" Jeremy pitter patters around the cabin, searching drawers and cabinets and various boxes. "Finally!" Jeremy opens the latch to a secret compartment in the ceiling and stretches his arm up to reach inside and drop hold of a small plastic bag. Inside are what remains of his anti-Holly pills. There are only five of them. Jeremy pitter patters over to Emalay, who is still on the floor, weeping over becoming a Holly.
"Here." Jeremy hands Emalay all five of the pills. "Maybe if you take all of these at once, they'll turn you back to normal."
"Okay." Emalay quickly chokes down all five of the pills and waits. In a matter of minutes, all the fat rolls have receded, the hairs on her neck and face fall, her lips de-crust, and she no longer looks like a Holly.
"Thank God!" Emalay says, her voice finally back to it's normal tone. "Wait, what's that outside?!"
Jeremy and Emalay race to the nearby window, just in time to watch China, Winston, Kobe, and Buddy's tails all fade off into the distance.
"Um, what the fuck is my dog doing out there?"
End of Part V. :D
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
FARNIA: THE LOST HOLLY'S: PART IV (4, for the unintelligent a te heh heh!)
**previously, on Farnia: The Lost Holly's***
"We need anti-Holly pills. Very soon."
"Yes, I know..." NiKewl says, resting a finger on her lip, thinking. "It's so hard to tell exactly when we need to take our anti-Holly pills. Without Emalay's watch to tell us the time..."
"We're doomed." MORGON states.
"I think that's the understatement of the century." NiKewl purses her lips and casts a glance over to MORGON, incredulous. (oh yah, I used a vocab word. suck it.)
"You're right. We're severely fucked."
***
Emalay woke from a very vivid dream involving kidnapping, holly's, tisnerps, zombies, and the like. She was very disoriented. It took Emalay a while to realize where she was, still half asleep.
"Good morning!" Jeremy says.
"GAH!" Emalay screams. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, WATCHING ME SLEEP?!"
"You've only been sleeping for a few minutes."
"Oh. KAY." Emalay tried to cross her arms, but(t) the restraints prevented her from doing so. "Could you untie me, please?"
"If you don't freak out on me."
"Yea, sure, whatever." Emalay said, completely forgetting how much she really needed an anti-Holly pill fix.
Jeremy unbuckled the restraints on Emalay's ankles first, then moved to undo her wrists. Emalay waited for one of her wrists to be released until she couldn't take it anymore-
CRACK!
Emalay kicked up from the metal table and slammed her foot into Jeremy's hip, knocking him violently sideways.
"The hell?!" Jeremy sputters as he falls to the ground, his fingers pull on the rest of the restraint, Emalay is free! :D "I said no tricks!" Jeremy continues.
"It wasn't a trick! You should've seen it coming, dumb betch!" Emalay laughs and turns on her heel, sprinting towards the metal door. Emalay knows it isn't locked because you can only lock it from the outside.
"Wait! Don't!" Jeremy quickly ninja-bucks his body of the floor and into a standing position in one swift move. He running to Emalay now, trying to stop her--
But its too late. Emalay slams the door into Jeremy's unsuspecting face and locks it with a satisfying click. "Take that, my betch!"
There's a cry from the inside of the door, it's muffled by the thick metal.
"What's that?" Emalay laughs.
"I SAID OPEN. THIS. DOOR!"
"No."
"Stupid whore!" Jeremy punches the door.
Emalay finds a knob stuck at the top of the door. She pulls it and an opening in the door pops up. She's able to look inside. Jeremy's throwing a fit. Kicking and screaming and knocking very important-looking things over. Jeremy then notices that Emalay's peering in at him through the slit in the door.
"Skank! Open the door!"
"I can't let you out! You'll just tie me up again." Emalay purses her lips.
"No, I won't. I set the ship's autopilot for only 15 more minutes!"
"I can fly a ship." Emalay spits back at him, "I'm not a total holly. Um, yet..."
Jeremy is oblivious to Emalay's realization. "Not this ship. It's custom-made by my father. He made it so that only my bloodline knows how to fly it!"
"Yah, whatever." Emalay shuts the thin sheet of metal over the door. It was then when she started to shake and quiver. At first, Emalay thought she was just going to get a mind-blowing orgasm, but then she realized that she was hollyfying. You see- the process of hollyfying is very much like an orgasm, accept that it's a thousand times more painful.
"HOLLY, SHIT!" Emalay screams
"DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT TOTAL!" Jeremy yells that through the door.
"YOU'RE A TOURRETTEI?!" Emalay manages to say in between waves of pain.
"No shit, betch!" Jeremy says, right before Emalay turns into a frightning, fat monster.
Emalay's a holly.
***
"Okay... so here's the plan..." MORGON whispers into NeKewl's ear.
***
Emalay sees flashes of pictures before her eyes and behind them. She's turning into a Holly, and can't stop.
***
"All remaining players to the side of the arena!" Shout stadium officials coming from all directions. "We're here to clear up the bodies before continueing The Game!"
"Okay, they're cleaning up the bodies. Now is the time to execute the plan." MORGON whispers into NiKewl's ear.
"Right." NiKewl and MORGON walk off in opposite directions as the Tisnerpian officials in bright neon sweater vests dispose of the bodies. MORGON is now on the far right side of the arena, her back against it's high walls, below the screaming crowd that's throwing popcorn and plastic cups at eachother. NiKewl is on the far left side.
When the last remaining Rough Rider, the blonde zombie, is heaved to her feet by on of the officials, she walks over into the middle of the arena, accepting her death.
"ALRIGHT! GAME ON!" Yells an official, and he quickly runs out of the arena through the safety of the big wooden doors of the entrance.
MORGON gives NiKewl a quick nod, and they burst into action.
Using the metal-spiked toes on her boots, MORGON climbs the high walls of the arena.
"Hey, get back down there and kill her!" One person in the crowd pushes MORGON down. "We can't leave into you kill everyone on the opposite team!"
"GO FUCK YOURSELF." MORGON squirts the guy with the acid of her gun and ninja-kicks him off the stands. He falls ten feet into the stadium and dies like a noob.
"I can't believe you just killed him!" MORGON stabs that girl in the neck with one of her spare daggers she keeps in her boot.
On the otherside, NiKewl has asended the stadiums walls and she, too, is among the crowd. She doesn't wait for people to tell her to go back, she just starts killing. With her RBG, NiKewl takes out four guys in a row, making a pathway for her to fight.
"Out of my way!" NiKewl says, and bitch-slaps a partially-Native-American.
"HEY!" She says, and pushes NiKewl back. "MY NAME IS CASSIA MCLOONE, AND I WILL NOT BE TREATED AS SUCH!"
"Geez, sorry." NiKewl says, and moves on. Nikewl speeds her way through the crowd, shooting as she goes, she skips Trevor Naasz, because she loves him, and kills everybody else on her side.
MORGON has now killed just about everyone. The only people left alive are MORGON, NiKewl, Cassia, Trevor Naasz, and the blonde zombie chick who is standing,aghast, in the middle of the arena.
"Hey" NiKewl says to MORGON as they meet together in the middle, after murdering everyone in the arena.
"Hi. :)" MORGON replies and sticks the squirt gun back into it's sheath.
"Hah, CHEQUERED." NiKewl says and cradles her RBG. "There's one left. Down there." NiKewl points to the blonde zombie with her index finger.
"Yah. Let's kill her." MORGON and NiKewl jump from the stands in unison and land back into the playing field. Without saying anything, NiKewl and MORGON approach the zombie. The zombie stays still, knowing her death is near. NiKewl forces the blonde into a kneeling position and then she points her RBG to the blonde zombies temple. MORGON does the same with her acid gun.
"And Shepards we shall be, for thee, my lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand, so that our feet may swiftly carry out they commands. And we shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. Et Nomadre Patre, Et Fili, Spirtus Sancti."
*BOOM*
End of Part Four.
"We need anti-Holly pills. Very soon."
"Yes, I know..." NiKewl says, resting a finger on her lip, thinking. "It's so hard to tell exactly when we need to take our anti-Holly pills. Without Emalay's watch to tell us the time..."
"We're doomed." MORGON states.
"I think that's the understatement of the century." NiKewl purses her lips and casts a glance over to MORGON, incredulous. (oh yah, I used a vocab word. suck it.)
"You're right. We're severely fucked."
***
Emalay woke from a very vivid dream involving kidnapping, holly's, tisnerps, zombies, and the like. She was very disoriented. It took Emalay a while to realize where she was, still half asleep.
"Good morning!" Jeremy says.
"GAH!" Emalay screams. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, WATCHING ME SLEEP?!"
"You've only been sleeping for a few minutes."
"Oh. KAY." Emalay tried to cross her arms, but(t) the restraints prevented her from doing so. "Could you untie me, please?"
"If you don't freak out on me."
"Yea, sure, whatever." Emalay said, completely forgetting how much she really needed an anti-Holly pill fix.
Jeremy unbuckled the restraints on Emalay's ankles first, then moved to undo her wrists. Emalay waited for one of her wrists to be released until she couldn't take it anymore-
CRACK!
Emalay kicked up from the metal table and slammed her foot into Jeremy's hip, knocking him violently sideways.
"The hell?!" Jeremy sputters as he falls to the ground, his fingers pull on the rest of the restraint, Emalay is free! :D "I said no tricks!" Jeremy continues.
"It wasn't a trick! You should've seen it coming, dumb betch!" Emalay laughs and turns on her heel, sprinting towards the metal door. Emalay knows it isn't locked because you can only lock it from the outside.
"Wait! Don't!" Jeremy quickly ninja-bucks his body of the floor and into a standing position in one swift move. He running to Emalay now, trying to stop her--
But its too late. Emalay slams the door into Jeremy's unsuspecting face and locks it with a satisfying click. "Take that, my betch!"
There's a cry from the inside of the door, it's muffled by the thick metal.
"What's that?" Emalay laughs.
"I SAID OPEN. THIS. DOOR!"
"No."
"Stupid whore!" Jeremy punches the door.
Emalay finds a knob stuck at the top of the door. She pulls it and an opening in the door pops up. She's able to look inside. Jeremy's throwing a fit. Kicking and screaming and knocking very important-looking things over. Jeremy then notices that Emalay's peering in at him through the slit in the door.
"Skank! Open the door!"
"I can't let you out! You'll just tie me up again." Emalay purses her lips.
"No, I won't. I set the ship's autopilot for only 15 more minutes!"
"I can fly a ship." Emalay spits back at him, "I'm not a total holly. Um, yet..."
Jeremy is oblivious to Emalay's realization. "Not this ship. It's custom-made by my father. He made it so that only my bloodline knows how to fly it!"
"Yah, whatever." Emalay shuts the thin sheet of metal over the door. It was then when she started to shake and quiver. At first, Emalay thought she was just going to get a mind-blowing orgasm, but then she realized that she was hollyfying. You see- the process of hollyfying is very much like an orgasm, accept that it's a thousand times more painful.
"HOLLY, SHIT!" Emalay screams
"DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT TOTAL!" Jeremy yells that through the door.
"YOU'RE A TOURRETTEI?!" Emalay manages to say in between waves of pain.
"No shit, betch!" Jeremy says, right before Emalay turns into a frightning, fat monster.
Emalay's a holly.
***
"Okay... so here's the plan..." MORGON whispers into NeKewl's ear.
***
Emalay sees flashes of pictures before her eyes and behind them. She's turning into a Holly, and can't stop.
***
"All remaining players to the side of the arena!" Shout stadium officials coming from all directions. "We're here to clear up the bodies before continueing The Game!"
"Okay, they're cleaning up the bodies. Now is the time to execute the plan." MORGON whispers into NiKewl's ear.
"Right." NiKewl and MORGON walk off in opposite directions as the Tisnerpian officials in bright neon sweater vests dispose of the bodies. MORGON is now on the far right side of the arena, her back against it's high walls, below the screaming crowd that's throwing popcorn and plastic cups at eachother. NiKewl is on the far left side.
When the last remaining Rough Rider, the blonde zombie, is heaved to her feet by on of the officials, she walks over into the middle of the arena, accepting her death.
"ALRIGHT! GAME ON!" Yells an official, and he quickly runs out of the arena through the safety of the big wooden doors of the entrance.
MORGON gives NiKewl a quick nod, and they burst into action.
Using the metal-spiked toes on her boots, MORGON climbs the high walls of the arena.
"Hey, get back down there and kill her!" One person in the crowd pushes MORGON down. "We can't leave into you kill everyone on the opposite team!"
"GO FUCK YOURSELF." MORGON squirts the guy with the acid of her gun and ninja-kicks him off the stands. He falls ten feet into the stadium and dies like a noob.
"I can't believe you just killed him!" MORGON stabs that girl in the neck with one of her spare daggers she keeps in her boot.
On the otherside, NiKewl has asended the stadiums walls and she, too, is among the crowd. She doesn't wait for people to tell her to go back, she just starts killing. With her RBG, NiKewl takes out four guys in a row, making a pathway for her to fight.
"Out of my way!" NiKewl says, and bitch-slaps a partially-Native-American.
"HEY!" She says, and pushes NiKewl back. "MY NAME IS CASSIA MCLOONE, AND I WILL NOT BE TREATED AS SUCH!"
"Geez, sorry." NiKewl says, and moves on. Nikewl speeds her way through the crowd, shooting as she goes, she skips Trevor Naasz, because she loves him, and kills everybody else on her side.
MORGON has now killed just about everyone. The only people left alive are MORGON, NiKewl, Cassia, Trevor Naasz, and the blonde zombie chick who is standing,aghast, in the middle of the arena.
"Hey" NiKewl says to MORGON as they meet together in the middle, after murdering everyone in the arena.
"Hi. :)" MORGON replies and sticks the squirt gun back into it's sheath.
"Hah, CHEQUERED." NiKewl says and cradles her RBG. "There's one left. Down there." NiKewl points to the blonde zombie with her index finger.
"Yah. Let's kill her." MORGON and NiKewl jump from the stands in unison and land back into the playing field. Without saying anything, NiKewl and MORGON approach the zombie. The zombie stays still, knowing her death is near. NiKewl forces the blonde into a kneeling position and then she points her RBG to the blonde zombies temple. MORGON does the same with her acid gun.
"And Shepards we shall be, for thee, my lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand, so that our feet may swiftly carry out they commands. And we shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. Et Nomadre Patre, Et Fili, Spirtus Sancti."
*BOOM*
End of Part Four.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
FARNIA: THE LOST HOLLY'S: PART III
*previously, on Farnia: The Lost Holly's...*
“Oh, well,” Blondie sighs, staring at her dead appendage on the muddy ground. “I only need one arm to kill you, and I’m left-handed!” She chuckles darkly and raises her laser gun for the kill shot.
Emalay, sensing her doom, raises a hand to protect her face, accepting the end.
“Goodbye… Emily.” Blondie fires her gun, and Emalay’s world finally goes dark.
***
"Suck dick..." MORGON says under her breath, gazing at the limp form of a werewolf under NiKewl's gun.
"Pretty BADASS, huh?" NiKewl states cockily. She wipes some splattered blood of her face then uses her dark sleeve to clean the RBG.
"Yah... I guess. But your face is still... um, red." MORGON bursts into a fit of laughter, then realizes she's still in the stadium and stops herself. She needs to focus. There are still three zombies and the mysterious missing fifth player.
"IT IS?!" shouts NiKewl, touching her face. She gags when her hands come back all white and slimy. "Fucking jizz..." O_O Nikewl wipes her face until it's generally clean and then searches the site for Emalay.
Oh wait!
The last time NiKewl saw her Emalay was practically drowning in her own pool of blood. But that can wait. NO. IT CAN'T.
"We gotta go get Emalay! She's in trouble-"
"WHAT?" MORGON spits.
"I saw her, while I was killing the werewolf. She was down! Blondie could've killed her by now!"
NiKewl and MORGON frantically look around for Emalay, who should've been lying in the dirt.
But she wasn't.
***
Meanwhile...
Emalay opens her eyes and squints as a harsh light beams into her pupils. It's the sun. The rain has finally stopped pounding and the sun's light burns Emalay's face. Wait- that's not light.
"Hello." comes a male voice to Emalay's left side. This is when Emalay finally notices she is laying down on a hard, cold table. Her wrists and ankles are captured by leather restraints.
"Where am I?" Emalay's throat is dry, and cracks twice as she says her sentence.
"Holly, we're in the Tisnerp 5000. Preparing for take-off."
Emalay's eyes search frantically for the faceless voice.
"I'm no Holly." Emalay makes a move to wipe her eyes but the leather restraints stop her. "I am Emalay. Member of the Tourette's Forever Fan Club and co-leader of the Siemen's Advanced Force!" Emalay takes a few breaths, calms down, and continues. "Why did you tie me up?"
"We have a long way to go. I can't have you hurting yourself- trying to escape."
"Who are you...?" Emalay stares into the bright light. Not the sun. An artificial light. Emalay is no longer in the stadium fighting along her fellow Tourettei's. She's being held hostage in some strange ship. Going who knows where.
"My name is Jeremy."
***
"Where the hell is she?!" MORGON shouts as she fends off a Rough Rider zombie with the heel of her boot. "Where could Emalay have gone?!"
"I DON'T KNOW." NiKewl growls and shoots another Rough Rider in the head. Two to go.
"I just can't believe..." MORGON swiftly karate chops her zombie foe's head in half. One to go. "That she would just..." MORGON wipes zombie brain muck off her hand and onto her shirt to rid of the nastaaaaay gray matter. "Get up and leave." MORGON finishes.
"Where's that Blondie... she's the only one left..." NiKewl says, and scratches her scalp in concentration.
NiKewl searches for Blondie and smirks when she finds her cowering in the corner of the stadium. The crowd is going wild. Far shouts coming from the Lincoln side of the stands.
"FINISH HER!"
"COMMON, DOOO ITT!"
"Um, more pineapples, please! Pineapples, over here!" A Hawaiian waves her hand to grab the attention of a boy named Parker who's selling fresh pineapples.
"KILL 'ER!"
MORGON and NiKewl give eachother knowing looks.
"It's Emalay's kill though..." MORGON says, staring at Blondie who's covering her face with her hands.
"True. But how else will we win and get out of here to find Emalay...?" NiKewl says.
"There's no other way. She'll understand."
"No, she won't. Blondie is Emalay's kill, period." NiKewl crosses her arms.
"That only leaves one other option." MORGON twirls her acid squirt gun on her index finger.
NiKewl gives MORGON a quizzing look. "What can we do?"
MORGON takes a deep, steadying breath...
"We gotta break out of this arena."
***
"Jeremy?"
"Yah." Jeremy finally eclipses the light and shows his somewhat familiar face, standing over Emalay, raising an eyebrow in question.
"You have to tell me where we're going. Who you are. Who do you work for?"
Jeremy gives a hearty laugh. "I work for no one, young Siemen."
"Where are we going?" Emalay stares at Jeremy. She notices what he's wearing. Roosevelt Rough Riders colors -gold and marroon. "YOU'RE A ROUGH RIDER!"
"Calm down!" Jeremy tightens the restraints around Emalay's wrists. "Simmer. Simmer! I am no Rough Rider."
Emalay traps a deep breath of air in her lungs and holds it, trying to calm herself. If he's lying, then Emalay is being held hostage and transported to some torture facility or some scientific Holly testing. But, if he's not lying, who knows what's going on?
"Who are you?"
"I told you, my name is Jeremy."
"I'd like to know where we're going."
"All in good time." Jeremy walks out of the bright room, closing the door behind him. Emalay hears a slight click as he locks the door from the outside.
Emalay rests her head on the cold metal table, and thinks. She knows she's due for another anti-Holly pill in a matter of moments. How long can she keep herself together before she Hollyfies?
***
MORGON stolls over to Blondie and watches as she cowers in fear once again.
Oh God, Rough Riders are so pathetic.... MORGON thinks to herself. It's only when Blondie looks up from her hands and gives a her a split-second, evil glare that MORGON realizes she spoke her thoughts aloud.
"If you don't want to die, you'll tell us what happened to Emalay." MORGON hisses at the blonde, pointing her acid gun in her direction. Blondie screams and covers her already-blinded eyes from MORGON'S deadly gun.
"PLEASE! PLEASE, NOT AGAIN!"
"YOU'LL TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!" MORGON cocks the muzzle of the gun to Blondie's head. She flinches, and then speaks.
"I don't- I don't know anything...!"
"THE FUCK YOU DON'T!" MORGON shouts at the top of her lungs. "TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!"
Blondie screams.
"The fifth one!" Blondie suddenly gasps out. "It was him! He took her! He's our strongest player."
"Thank you." MORGON drops her gun and swivels to meet Nikewl in the middle of the stadium, examining the bodies. The crowd is severely pissed off. They expected a kill, and they got a retreat.
"In about ten minutes, that bell up there is going to ring and then The Game officials will come to usher us out and remove the bodies." NiKewl says as MORGON comes to a stop at her side.
"We need anti-Holly pills. Very soon."
"Yes, I know..." NiKewl says, resting a finger on her lip, thinking. "It's so hard to tell exactly when we need to take our anti-Holly pills. Without Emalay's watch to tell us the time..."
"We're doomed." MORGON states.
"I think that's the understatement of the century." NiKewl purses her lips and casts a glance over to MORGON, incredulous. (oh yah, I used a vocab word. suck it.)
"You're right. We're severly fucked."
***
END OF PART III
“Oh, well,” Blondie sighs, staring at her dead appendage on the muddy ground. “I only need one arm to kill you, and I’m left-handed!” She chuckles darkly and raises her laser gun for the kill shot.
Emalay, sensing her doom, raises a hand to protect her face, accepting the end.
“Goodbye… Emily.” Blondie fires her gun, and Emalay’s world finally goes dark.
***
"Suck dick..." MORGON says under her breath, gazing at the limp form of a werewolf under NiKewl's gun.
"Pretty BADASS, huh?" NiKewl states cockily. She wipes some splattered blood of her face then uses her dark sleeve to clean the RBG.
"Yah... I guess. But your face is still... um, red." MORGON bursts into a fit of laughter, then realizes she's still in the stadium and stops herself. She needs to focus. There are still three zombies and the mysterious missing fifth player.
"IT IS?!" shouts NiKewl, touching her face. She gags when her hands come back all white and slimy. "Fucking jizz..." O_O Nikewl wipes her face until it's generally clean and then searches the site for Emalay.
Oh wait!
The last time NiKewl saw her Emalay was practically drowning in her own pool of blood. But that can wait. NO. IT CAN'T.
"We gotta go get Emalay! She's in trouble-"
"WHAT?" MORGON spits.
"I saw her, while I was killing the werewolf. She was down! Blondie could've killed her by now!"
NiKewl and MORGON frantically look around for Emalay, who should've been lying in the dirt.
But she wasn't.
***
Meanwhile...
Emalay opens her eyes and squints as a harsh light beams into her pupils. It's the sun. The rain has finally stopped pounding and the sun's light burns Emalay's face. Wait- that's not light.
"Hello." comes a male voice to Emalay's left side. This is when Emalay finally notices she is laying down on a hard, cold table. Her wrists and ankles are captured by leather restraints.
"Where am I?" Emalay's throat is dry, and cracks twice as she says her sentence.
"Holly, we're in the Tisnerp 5000. Preparing for take-off."
Emalay's eyes search frantically for the faceless voice.
"I'm no Holly." Emalay makes a move to wipe her eyes but the leather restraints stop her. "I am Emalay. Member of the Tourette's Forever Fan Club and co-leader of the Siemen's Advanced Force!" Emalay takes a few breaths, calms down, and continues. "Why did you tie me up?"
"We have a long way to go. I can't have you hurting yourself- trying to escape."
"Who are you...?" Emalay stares into the bright light. Not the sun. An artificial light. Emalay is no longer in the stadium fighting along her fellow Tourettei's. She's being held hostage in some strange ship. Going who knows where.
"My name is Jeremy."
***
"Where the hell is she?!" MORGON shouts as she fends off a Rough Rider zombie with the heel of her boot. "Where could Emalay have gone?!"
"I DON'T KNOW." NiKewl growls and shoots another Rough Rider in the head. Two to go.
"I just can't believe..." MORGON swiftly karate chops her zombie foe's head in half. One to go. "That she would just..." MORGON wipes zombie brain muck off her hand and onto her shirt to rid of the nastaaaaay gray matter. "Get up and leave." MORGON finishes.
"Where's that Blondie... she's the only one left..." NiKewl says, and scratches her scalp in concentration.
NiKewl searches for Blondie and smirks when she finds her cowering in the corner of the stadium. The crowd is going wild. Far shouts coming from the Lincoln side of the stands.
"FINISH HER!"
"COMMON, DOOO ITT!"
"Um, more pineapples, please! Pineapples, over here!" A Hawaiian waves her hand to grab the attention of a boy named Parker who's selling fresh pineapples.
"KILL 'ER!"
MORGON and NiKewl give eachother knowing looks.
"It's Emalay's kill though..." MORGON says, staring at Blondie who's covering her face with her hands.
"True. But how else will we win and get out of here to find Emalay...?" NiKewl says.
"There's no other way. She'll understand."
"No, she won't. Blondie is Emalay's kill, period." NiKewl crosses her arms.
"That only leaves one other option." MORGON twirls her acid squirt gun on her index finger.
NiKewl gives MORGON a quizzing look. "What can we do?"
MORGON takes a deep, steadying breath...
"We gotta break out of this arena."
***
"Jeremy?"
"Yah." Jeremy finally eclipses the light and shows his somewhat familiar face, standing over Emalay, raising an eyebrow in question.
"You have to tell me where we're going. Who you are. Who do you work for?"
Jeremy gives a hearty laugh. "I work for no one, young Siemen."
"Where are we going?" Emalay stares at Jeremy. She notices what he's wearing. Roosevelt Rough Riders colors -gold and marroon. "YOU'RE A ROUGH RIDER!"
"Calm down!" Jeremy tightens the restraints around Emalay's wrists. "Simmer. Simmer! I am no Rough Rider."
Emalay traps a deep breath of air in her lungs and holds it, trying to calm herself. If he's lying, then Emalay is being held hostage and transported to some torture facility or some scientific Holly testing. But, if he's not lying, who knows what's going on?
"Who are you?"
"I told you, my name is Jeremy."
"I'd like to know where we're going."
"All in good time." Jeremy walks out of the bright room, closing the door behind him. Emalay hears a slight click as he locks the door from the outside.
Emalay rests her head on the cold metal table, and thinks. She knows she's due for another anti-Holly pill in a matter of moments. How long can she keep herself together before she Hollyfies?
***
MORGON stolls over to Blondie and watches as she cowers in fear once again.
Oh God, Rough Riders are so pathetic.... MORGON thinks to herself. It's only when Blondie looks up from her hands and gives a her a split-second, evil glare that MORGON realizes she spoke her thoughts aloud.
"If you don't want to die, you'll tell us what happened to Emalay." MORGON hisses at the blonde, pointing her acid gun in her direction. Blondie screams and covers her already-blinded eyes from MORGON'S deadly gun.
"PLEASE! PLEASE, NOT AGAIN!"
"YOU'LL TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!" MORGON cocks the muzzle of the gun to Blondie's head. She flinches, and then speaks.
"I don't- I don't know anything...!"
"THE FUCK YOU DON'T!" MORGON shouts at the top of her lungs. "TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!"
Blondie screams.
"The fifth one!" Blondie suddenly gasps out. "It was him! He took her! He's our strongest player."
"Thank you." MORGON drops her gun and swivels to meet Nikewl in the middle of the stadium, examining the bodies. The crowd is severely pissed off. They expected a kill, and they got a retreat.
"In about ten minutes, that bell up there is going to ring and then The Game officials will come to usher us out and remove the bodies." NiKewl says as MORGON comes to a stop at her side.
"We need anti-Holly pills. Very soon."
"Yes, I know..." NiKewl says, resting a finger on her lip, thinking. "It's so hard to tell exactly when we need to take our anti-Holly pills. Without Emalay's watch to tell us the time..."
"We're doomed." MORGON states.
"I think that's the understatement of the century." NiKewl purses her lips and casts a glance over to MORGON, incredulous. (oh yah, I used a vocab word. suck it.)
"You're right. We're severly fucked."
***
END OF PART III
Monday, January 24, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
FARNIA: THE LOST HOLLY'S: PART II
**Previously, on Farnia: The Lost Holly’s…**
NiKewl, Emalay, and MORGON, members of the Tourette’s Forever Fan Club and the Siemen Advanced Force- were last seen inside The Game stadium, awaiting an intense battle against their rivals at Roosevelt High Skewl...
“I can’t go in that stadium!” NiKewl said, anxiously clutching her Really Big Gun, (RBG) to her chest.
“You can, and you will.” Emalay answered, pointing her elegant metal crossbow (complete with poison-dipped arrows) in her face. “We have no choice. We got here last, so we must play.”
“THIS IS PRACTICALLY TISNERPISH!” yells MORGON, twirling her squirt gun (filled with acid, of course) on her index finger. “We’re in the Siemen Advanced Force. This is COMPLETE FOLLY!”
“Whatever. Let’s just get this over with…” NiKewl paces toward the light at the end of the long, stadium tunnel: the entrance. MORGON and Emalay allow her a few meters head start before jogging after her, weapons in tow.
“This is dangerous.” Emalay cups her hand and whispers into MORGON’s ear. “We’re due for another anti-holly pill in-“ she checks her puke-green-and-yellow dinosaur watch, which is set to beep 5 minutes before she and her fellow Tourettei’s must take their anti-holly pills. “About 69 minutes… what if The Game lasts longer than that…?”
“I wouldn’t think about it, if I were you.” MORGON mumbles, casting NiKewl a wary glance. “You might set NiKewl off. Plus, all we need to think about is the enemy.”
“Enemy?” Emalay asks.
“Yes- Roosevelt.” MORGON sighs. “They’re the second toughest school, next to us…”
“Oh- really? What type?”
“Roosevelt is made up of mostly zombies, with the occasional werewolf, here-and-there.”
“Got it.”
“ARE YOU TWO DONE WITH THE LET’S-TALK-ABOUT-STUFF-THAT’S-NOT-IMPORTANT-AND-BE SISSIES-WHILE-NIKEWL-DOES-ALL-THE-WORK DINNER SPEECH OR ARE YOU GOING TO GET YOUR ARSES OVER HERE?!”
“Coming!” say MORGON and Emalay in unison, rushing to catch up with NiKewl.
“I’m ready for this.” Emalay says, hoisting the crossbow on a shoulder. “I may have gone to Roosevelt once, but I’m ready for the kill-no strings attached.”
“I’m very proud of you.” NiKewl pats Emalay on the back. “Stay strong. We will defeat them.”
“Easy as pie.” MORGON offers.
Then, The Tourettei’s use a hand to protect their faces from the harsh sunshine as they enter the open ground of the stadium fight site. What they see amazes all three of them. The stadium seems impossibly more massive since the last time they laid their eyes upon it. With the force of thousands of students crowding the seats around the fight site, The Tourettei’s raise their weapons in fear.
“So many have shown up!” NiKewl gasps, looking at on the on-lookers who are pounding their fists and throwing popcorn at each other childishly.
“This must be the biggest turn out in Games history…” Emalay mutters under her breath, aghast.
“-Look!” MORGON points to the opposite side of the stadium, where five Roosevelt players stretch on the wet, muddy field, preparing for the battle. “They outnumber us, -there’s five of them- but our weapons are better… we have a good chance of winning.”
“We’re going to win. There’s no way we’re –the Siemen Advanced Force- can lose to a bunch of mangy Rough Riders-!” Emalay fist pumps the air.
“LET’S GO!” NiKewl shouts, hoisting her RBG with both hands to point at the enemy line.
All of a sudden, a loud buzzer goes off and the crowd turns wild. The Games have begun.
The Rough Riders break away from their casual stretching and charge through the pouring rain to pick up their weapons. There’s a blonde, obviously a zombie, clamoring up from the ground with a small laser gun in her right hand. The fear in her eyes is palpable as her gaze rests on The Tourettei’s more advanced weapons with a vengeance. The second Rough Rider, clearly a huge and deadly werewolf, finishes sharping his long claws with a file and braces for the fight. The third, another zombie, raises a sword, the forth, another zombie, tenses her muscles, she has no weapon at all.
“Where did the fifth one go…?” Emalay squints into the stormy sky, confused over the unexpected missing member.
“Who knows?” MORGON says.
“Or cares.” NiKewl concludes, pointing her RBG at the blonde, index finger caressing the trigger.
“Don’t-!” Emalay places a hand over NiKewl’s gun. “I know her… she’s mine.”
NiKewl slowly nods her head in agreement and points her RBG at the werewolf, who’s the strongest and biggest target.
There are a few annoyed shouts from the on-looking crowd. “GET ON WITH IT!” “You’re wasting time…?!”
A Hawaiian named Akela quickly raises her hand to grab the attention from a skinny kid named Parker who’s selling fresh pineapples. “Over here! I’ll buy one! I… need them.”
The Tourettei’s ignore the crowd’s jabs and slowly, so slowly, walk in synchronization to the middle line, waiting for the Rough Riders to do the same. With an evil look upon their faces, the Rough Riders jog up to the line, glaring at the Tourettei’s and hissing menacingly.
A second buzzer goes off, signaling the fight to ensue-
Blondie immediately points and shoots her laser gun at Emalay, missing her head by a hair’s breadth as Emalay ducks out of the way.
“Hey!” MORGON yells in anger, squirting Blondie with a dash of acid liquid. The blonde swings her arms around, wildly clawing at her own friends as she tries to fight the burn in her eyes. The rest of the Rough Riders stand watching, mouths agape, as their fellow team mate blindingly claws at her face in pain-
The Siemen’s Advanced Force takes immediate action of the other team’s distraction. MORGON pounces on the two remaining zombies; squirts violently with her gun to disperse the life-ending liquid. NiKewl clips the werewolf in the shoulder with her RBG, whooping with delight.
“Blondie’s not dead… yet…” MORGON growls under her breath, her finger on her acid gun’s trigger.
“Stop!” Emalay jumps in the line of fire, arms raised, “I told you- she’s my kill!”
Understanding, MORGON nods curtly and starts squirting the remaining zombies in their most vulnerable places: the ankles, stomach, neck, and face.
“I’d like to see you walk a mile, in MY-“ NiKewl screams at the werewolf before he swipes her sideways with a sharp, massive claw, roaring as loud as Shirlena when she’s mad at Danny.
“HEY! Get away from her!” MORGON shouts and breaks free of a zombie’s strangle on her neck. She forcefully starts squirting her gun in the werewolf’s knees, attempting to bring him to his feet-
“DAMN!” MORGON says, as she watches the werewolf continue to pound NiKewl with his mighty penis slap… “My acid is having no effect! His fur is too thick… and the rain is lessening the force of my blasts…!”
“Make… him… stop!” NiKewl says, barely getting up from the ground before the werewolf slaps her down again… “This is so degrading!”
Meanwhile….
Emalay stares into the eyes of her enemy: Blondie. Emalay clutches her crossbow with bloody knuckles as Blondie glares daggers at her, toying with the laser gun at her side.
“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE?!” Blondie suddenly outbursts, her blue eyes glowing in her deathly, crumbling zombie features. “You were happy being a Rough Rider, weren’t you? We could have been the greatest team ever! The best!”
“I was never happy at Roosevelt, and neither are you… accept it!” Emalay shouts across the field. She wipes sweat and rain droplets from her forehead, struggling to see- the rain is pounding down so hard she can barely make out Blondie’s dark silhouette against the stadium walls…
Blondie gasps and raises her gun, threatening Emalay with its deadly force. “If you believe you are no longer a Rough Rider… then you truly are… MY ENEMY!” Blondie shoots out a beam of red laser power just as Emalay releases a long, poisoned arrow at Blondie. Blondie cries out in pain as the poisoned arrow gauges her in the right shoulder. Blondie, already blinded from MORGON’S acid, does not fire clearly and misses her target, only clipping Emalay’s neck, instead of blowing through her neck altogether… but still, warm blood oozes from the wound in Emalay’s neck… she’s losing consciousness…
A few minutes later….
Slap… slap… slap….
“HOW’S HE STILL GOIN’?” MORGON curses, and bashes the werewolf’s head with the butt of her gun. “It’s like I’ve barely even touched him at all! He’s not going down!” MORGON punches the werewolf’s face repeatedly, but he doesn’t even flinch.
“I can’t take this… ANYMORE!” NiKewl hastily kicks up from the ground and is now in a crouch, staring at the werewolf straight in his… well…
The werewolf, momentarily distracted, ceases his slaps and stares at NiKewl, deep into her eyes. NiKewl, her face red from the beating, transforms into a smile as she kicks out her leg and violently brings the werewolf to the ground. Dazed, the werewolf gapes into NiKewl’s face as she delivers the final blow to his head with her RBG.
BAM!
The lurid sound of NiKewl’s kill shot brings all the player’s attention to NiKewl. She stares each and every one of the Rough Riders in the eyes and silently tells them that they better prepare for hell. And how could they not believe her? NiKewl had just killed their strongest player…
Right?
Wrong.
NiKewl, finally recovering from her victory, notices Emalay, surrounded in her own blood and laying limp on the ground.
Back to Emalay….
Emalay’s vision grows dark as she releases the crossbow from her hands and crumples to the ground, clutching her bleeding neck. She gasps for breath and shivers as she hears Blondie’s menacing –if not insane- titter of victory. Blondie clenches the poisoned arrow in her shoulder and rips it out, losing her entire ruined arm in the process.
“Oh, well,” Blondie sighs, staring at her dead appendage on the muddy ground. “I only need one arm to kill you, and I’m left-handed!” She chuckles darkly and raises her laser gun for the kill shot.
Emalay, sensing her doom, raises a hand to protect her face, accepting the end.
“Goodbye… Emily.” Blondie fires her gun, and Emalay’s world finally goes dark.
END OF PART II
NiKewl, Emalay, and MORGON, members of the Tourette’s Forever Fan Club and the Siemen Advanced Force- were last seen inside The Game stadium, awaiting an intense battle against their rivals at Roosevelt High Skewl...
“I can’t go in that stadium!” NiKewl said, anxiously clutching her Really Big Gun, (RBG) to her chest.
“You can, and you will.” Emalay answered, pointing her elegant metal crossbow (complete with poison-dipped arrows) in her face. “We have no choice. We got here last, so we must play.”
“THIS IS PRACTICALLY TISNERPISH!” yells MORGON, twirling her squirt gun (filled with acid, of course) on her index finger. “We’re in the Siemen Advanced Force. This is COMPLETE FOLLY!”
“Whatever. Let’s just get this over with…” NiKewl paces toward the light at the end of the long, stadium tunnel: the entrance. MORGON and Emalay allow her a few meters head start before jogging after her, weapons in tow.
“This is dangerous.” Emalay cups her hand and whispers into MORGON’s ear. “We’re due for another anti-holly pill in-“ she checks her puke-green-and-yellow dinosaur watch, which is set to beep 5 minutes before she and her fellow Tourettei’s must take their anti-holly pills. “About 69 minutes… what if The Game lasts longer than that…?”
“I wouldn’t think about it, if I were you.” MORGON mumbles, casting NiKewl a wary glance. “You might set NiKewl off. Plus, all we need to think about is the enemy.”
“Enemy?” Emalay asks.
“Yes- Roosevelt.” MORGON sighs. “They’re the second toughest school, next to us…”
“Oh- really? What type?”
“Roosevelt is made up of mostly zombies, with the occasional werewolf, here-and-there.”
“Got it.”
“ARE YOU TWO DONE WITH THE LET’S-TALK-ABOUT-STUFF-THAT’S-NOT-IMPORTANT-AND-BE SISSIES-WHILE-NIKEWL-DOES-ALL-THE-WORK DINNER SPEECH OR ARE YOU GOING TO GET YOUR ARSES OVER HERE?!”
“Coming!” say MORGON and Emalay in unison, rushing to catch up with NiKewl.
“I’m ready for this.” Emalay says, hoisting the crossbow on a shoulder. “I may have gone to Roosevelt once, but I’m ready for the kill-no strings attached.”
“I’m very proud of you.” NiKewl pats Emalay on the back. “Stay strong. We will defeat them.”
“Easy as pie.” MORGON offers.
Then, The Tourettei’s use a hand to protect their faces from the harsh sunshine as they enter the open ground of the stadium fight site. What they see amazes all three of them. The stadium seems impossibly more massive since the last time they laid their eyes upon it. With the force of thousands of students crowding the seats around the fight site, The Tourettei’s raise their weapons in fear.
“So many have shown up!” NiKewl gasps, looking at on the on-lookers who are pounding their fists and throwing popcorn at each other childishly.
“This must be the biggest turn out in Games history…” Emalay mutters under her breath, aghast.
“-Look!” MORGON points to the opposite side of the stadium, where five Roosevelt players stretch on the wet, muddy field, preparing for the battle. “They outnumber us, -there’s five of them- but our weapons are better… we have a good chance of winning.”
“We’re going to win. There’s no way we’re –the Siemen Advanced Force- can lose to a bunch of mangy Rough Riders-!” Emalay fist pumps the air.
“LET’S GO!” NiKewl shouts, hoisting her RBG with both hands to point at the enemy line.
All of a sudden, a loud buzzer goes off and the crowd turns wild. The Games have begun.
The Rough Riders break away from their casual stretching and charge through the pouring rain to pick up their weapons. There’s a blonde, obviously a zombie, clamoring up from the ground with a small laser gun in her right hand. The fear in her eyes is palpable as her gaze rests on The Tourettei’s more advanced weapons with a vengeance. The second Rough Rider, clearly a huge and deadly werewolf, finishes sharping his long claws with a file and braces for the fight. The third, another zombie, raises a sword, the forth, another zombie, tenses her muscles, she has no weapon at all.
“Where did the fifth one go…?” Emalay squints into the stormy sky, confused over the unexpected missing member.
“Who knows?” MORGON says.
“Or cares.” NiKewl concludes, pointing her RBG at the blonde, index finger caressing the trigger.
“Don’t-!” Emalay places a hand over NiKewl’s gun. “I know her… she’s mine.”
NiKewl slowly nods her head in agreement and points her RBG at the werewolf, who’s the strongest and biggest target.
There are a few annoyed shouts from the on-looking crowd. “GET ON WITH IT!” “You’re wasting time…?!”
A Hawaiian named Akela quickly raises her hand to grab the attention from a skinny kid named Parker who’s selling fresh pineapples. “Over here! I’ll buy one! I… need them.”
The Tourettei’s ignore the crowd’s jabs and slowly, so slowly, walk in synchronization to the middle line, waiting for the Rough Riders to do the same. With an evil look upon their faces, the Rough Riders jog up to the line, glaring at the Tourettei’s and hissing menacingly.
A second buzzer goes off, signaling the fight to ensue-
Blondie immediately points and shoots her laser gun at Emalay, missing her head by a hair’s breadth as Emalay ducks out of the way.
“Hey!” MORGON yells in anger, squirting Blondie with a dash of acid liquid. The blonde swings her arms around, wildly clawing at her own friends as she tries to fight the burn in her eyes. The rest of the Rough Riders stand watching, mouths agape, as their fellow team mate blindingly claws at her face in pain-
The Siemen’s Advanced Force takes immediate action of the other team’s distraction. MORGON pounces on the two remaining zombies; squirts violently with her gun to disperse the life-ending liquid. NiKewl clips the werewolf in the shoulder with her RBG, whooping with delight.
“Blondie’s not dead… yet…” MORGON growls under her breath, her finger on her acid gun’s trigger.
“Stop!” Emalay jumps in the line of fire, arms raised, “I told you- she’s my kill!”
Understanding, MORGON nods curtly and starts squirting the remaining zombies in their most vulnerable places: the ankles, stomach, neck, and face.
“I’d like to see you walk a mile, in MY-“ NiKewl screams at the werewolf before he swipes her sideways with a sharp, massive claw, roaring as loud as Shirlena when she’s mad at Danny.
“HEY! Get away from her!” MORGON shouts and breaks free of a zombie’s strangle on her neck. She forcefully starts squirting her gun in the werewolf’s knees, attempting to bring him to his feet-
“DAMN!” MORGON says, as she watches the werewolf continue to pound NiKewl with his mighty penis slap… “My acid is having no effect! His fur is too thick… and the rain is lessening the force of my blasts…!”
“Make… him… stop!” NiKewl says, barely getting up from the ground before the werewolf slaps her down again… “This is so degrading!”
Meanwhile….
Emalay stares into the eyes of her enemy: Blondie. Emalay clutches her crossbow with bloody knuckles as Blondie glares daggers at her, toying with the laser gun at her side.
“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE?!” Blondie suddenly outbursts, her blue eyes glowing in her deathly, crumbling zombie features. “You were happy being a Rough Rider, weren’t you? We could have been the greatest team ever! The best!”
“I was never happy at Roosevelt, and neither are you… accept it!” Emalay shouts across the field. She wipes sweat and rain droplets from her forehead, struggling to see- the rain is pounding down so hard she can barely make out Blondie’s dark silhouette against the stadium walls…
Blondie gasps and raises her gun, threatening Emalay with its deadly force. “If you believe you are no longer a Rough Rider… then you truly are… MY ENEMY!” Blondie shoots out a beam of red laser power just as Emalay releases a long, poisoned arrow at Blondie. Blondie cries out in pain as the poisoned arrow gauges her in the right shoulder. Blondie, already blinded from MORGON’S acid, does not fire clearly and misses her target, only clipping Emalay’s neck, instead of blowing through her neck altogether… but still, warm blood oozes from the wound in Emalay’s neck… she’s losing consciousness…
A few minutes later….
Slap… slap… slap….
“HOW’S HE STILL GOIN’?” MORGON curses, and bashes the werewolf’s head with the butt of her gun. “It’s like I’ve barely even touched him at all! He’s not going down!” MORGON punches the werewolf’s face repeatedly, but he doesn’t even flinch.
“I can’t take this… ANYMORE!” NiKewl hastily kicks up from the ground and is now in a crouch, staring at the werewolf straight in his… well…
The werewolf, momentarily distracted, ceases his slaps and stares at NiKewl, deep into her eyes. NiKewl, her face red from the beating, transforms into a smile as she kicks out her leg and violently brings the werewolf to the ground. Dazed, the werewolf gapes into NiKewl’s face as she delivers the final blow to his head with her RBG.
BAM!
The lurid sound of NiKewl’s kill shot brings all the player’s attention to NiKewl. She stares each and every one of the Rough Riders in the eyes and silently tells them that they better prepare for hell. And how could they not believe her? NiKewl had just killed their strongest player…
Right?
Wrong.
NiKewl, finally recovering from her victory, notices Emalay, surrounded in her own blood and laying limp on the ground.
Back to Emalay….
Emalay’s vision grows dark as she releases the crossbow from her hands and crumples to the ground, clutching her bleeding neck. She gasps for breath and shivers as she hears Blondie’s menacing –if not insane- titter of victory. Blondie clenches the poisoned arrow in her shoulder and rips it out, losing her entire ruined arm in the process.
“Oh, well,” Blondie sighs, staring at her dead appendage on the muddy ground. “I only need one arm to kill you, and I’m left-handed!” She chuckles darkly and raises her laser gun for the kill shot.
Emalay, sensing her doom, raises a hand to protect her face, accepting the end.
“Goodbye… Emily.” Blondie fires her gun, and Emalay’s world finally goes dark.
END OF PART II
FARNIA: THE LOST HOLLY'S: PART I
Sioux Falls is not an ordinary town. It may seem so, to the naked eye, but there is something there, hidden beneath the surface. If you ever came to visit the bustling, boring town of Sioux Falls, I’m sure you’d like to be somewhere else. The people, going about their daily business, are dull, and lifeless. They roam the streets, pondering whether or not to cook either meatloaf or smoked salmon at dinner for their perfectly annoying young children. They sit in their cubicles, answering sales calls and trying to reach a quota by the end of the month which, of course, they never do.
But let’s talk about the Sioux Falls school district, shall we? The elementary grades are innocent, only because they don’t know what’s coming for them. The middle grades can sense a change in the atmosphere, something animalistic in all of them- school against school. The high grades are when it gets messy. The high schools have their own personal armies, fighting in their “games” for glory and redemption! Mermaids join the swim team. Zombies get stoned in the bathrooms. Ninjas are the stealth service in the armies. The school staffs are really aliens from the faraway land of Tisnerpia. But you don’t really want to know about all this crap do you? Oh- you do? Really? Well, okay… Here’s the story…
^^^
Three members of the Tourette’s Forever Fan Club are standing in a dark and desolate hallway, chatting about things that really don’t matter:
“So he’s dead? Like, for real?” The ginger Tourettei, NiKewl, also member of the Siemen’s Advanced Force, says to her two fellow Tourettei’s.
“Guess so.” says a Lohan-like Ha-Lea, MORGON, also member of the Siemen’s Advanced Force, crossing her arms and staring up at the ceiling.
“Really is a shame…” says the blonde Tourettei, Emalay, the third member of the Siemen’s, shooting a glance at her shoes, full of remorse. “I heard that he doesn’t even have Tourette’s.”
“You’re kidding.” claims MORGON, “You must be hollyfied.”
“No- I don’t think so…” Emalay says, shaking her head. “I took my Anti-Holly pills this morning, just like everybody else…”
“You sure?” speaks NiKewl, putting a hand to Emalay’s forehead. “You feel warm. And you look a little green.”
“I’M NOT HOLLYFIED!” shouts Emalay, throwing her hands into the air, exasperated. “I TOOK THE ANTI-HOLLY PILLS. I’M FINE.”
“Whatever.” MORGON and NiKewl mumble in unison. They quickly look at each other-
“JINX!” They scream, and then are suddenly serious; causing the stupid group of three to laugh so hard it can be heard from Tisnerpia.
“Oh, you guys…” MORGON says, wiping tears from her face. “We’re missing The Game.”
“Yah, we are, aren’t we?” asks NiKewl, scanning the hallway as if she’s just noticed the absence of the rest of the student body. “Strange. We never miss a Game.”
“We better hurry…” says Emalay, wringing her hands, anxious. “I hate missing the clash.”
“We can take our doughnuts there!” announces MORGON. “Then I think we can get there on time…”
“Good idea.” NiKewl says, grabbing MORGON and Emalay’s arms and steering them toward the exit at the end of the hall.
^^^
“We’re all filled up on gas, right guys?” Emalay asks, staring at their doughnut vehicles, parked against a curb by Lincoln High Skewl.
“Yah, I had China fill all of them up this morning.” NiKewl says, checking the fuel tank and then unbuckling the bike lock from her doughnut.
“WELL AREN’T YOU JUST A KOOL KAT?” says MORGON, unbuckling her doughnut while Emalay does the same. MORGON’s doughnut is vanilla with multicolored sprinkle handles and a turbo engine. Her doughnuts also packed with emergency Anti-Holly pills. Emalay’s is a deep chocolate with red sprinkle handles and multiple storage compartments for their various Advanced Siemen weapon items. NiKewl’s is strawberry with white sprinkle handles. She’s the one with the Flux Compositor, allowing all the Tourettei’s to travel through time and space.
“Common, let’s do this thing.” Emalay clambers into her chocolate doughnut, sitting in the puffy pleather seat and revving the engine. She puts on red safety goggles that match her sprinkle handles and puts her foot on the gas. “What are you waiting for?”
The remaining two Tourettei’s follow suit, jumping excitedly into their doughnuts and slipping on their ultra kewl safety goggles. Within seconds, the Tourettei’s power up their doughnuts and take off at the speed of light, the wind blowing in their hair, fists pumpin’… heading for The Game site.
^^^
The Tourettei’s come to a hasty halt at the site of The Game, taking off their goggles and locking their doughnuts safely on a gleaming metal rack. They turn, and gaze at the colossal sized stadium before them, listening to the violent cheers from both competing schools. The team of the Siemen’s Advanced Force break into a run, just in time to slip through the huge wooden doors of the stadium.
“Just in time.” Says MORGON, wiping some sweat off her forehead and looking around. “Wait- where are all the players? They should all be lined up in this hallway, ready to fight Roosevelt’s team…”
“Don’t you Ha-Lea’s get it?!” shouts a dirty, surly fat man from behind a glass booth, giving out candy and soda to some students. He points a thumb at the entrance to the playing field. “Remember the rules? Last one’s in half to play!”
“WHAT?!” scream the Tourettei’s in horror.
“Is this a sick joke?!” says MORGON, jabbing a finger at the glass the fatty is hiding behind. “Don’t you know who we are? We’re part of the Siemen Advanced Force. We’re no players.” She crosses her arms and gives the fatty a dirty look.
“Seriously.” Says Emalay, pounding on the glass. “SER-I-OUS-LY.”
“Yah, what she said!” Yells NiKewl.
Fatty throws his hands into the air in a form of surrender. “Sorry ladies, but- RULES ARE RULES! There literally is nothing I can do. Now-“ he points a chubby finger to a cart fuel of smelly jerseys. “Put those on and get out there. The crowd is waiting and so is Roosevelt!”
The Tourettei’s give Fatty one last glare before turning and walking briskly to the cart full of jerseys. Emalay picks up a particularly moldy one and gives it a sniff. “DISGUSTING. Not even a Tisnerp would wipe their ass with this.” Emalay tosses it back in the cart and starts sorting through the pile, throwing the nasty ones on the ground. NiKewl and MORGON chose their jersey and throw them on, noses wrinkling against the smell.
NiKewl then walks back over to Fatty, who’s organizing Nutty Nut Bars into a neat pyramid. “We can use any kind of weapons we want, right?” She asks.
“Sure thing.” Spits chubby, wiping his hands on his greasy apron. “You need to go fetch ‘em?”
NiKewl nods. “Open the door.”
Fatty sighs and presses a button, allowing NiKewl to disappear behind the wooden door. The remaining two Tourettei’s stand together, giving each other knowing looks.
“This is bad,” says Emalay, “real bad.”
“The only thing that could make this worse is if a Holly showed up.” MORGON said. “or if it started raining…”
A thick sound of thunder shudders the walls of the stadium.
“ARE YOU SERIOUS.” MORGON says.
“I’m really enjoying your karma, MORGON.” Emalay states. “Loads.”
“SHAWT UP.”
The Fatty presses the button which gives off the most annoying beeping sound. The Tourettei’s roll their eyes at him as NiKewl passes the door, numerous (and EXTREMELY DANGEROUS) weapons polluting her arms. “Got them.” NiKewl says, passing out the weapons. “You guys ready?”
“Sure.” MORGON utters, still pissed about the rain. “Let’s just get this over with.”
“LET’S DO THIS THING!” screams Emalay, fist pumping the air.
The three Tourette’s Forever Fan Club members and the team of the Siemen
Advanced force grip their weapons tightly and turn to face the entrance to the area. Let The Games begin.
END OF PART I
But let’s talk about the Sioux Falls school district, shall we? The elementary grades are innocent, only because they don’t know what’s coming for them. The middle grades can sense a change in the atmosphere, something animalistic in all of them- school against school. The high grades are when it gets messy. The high schools have their own personal armies, fighting in their “games” for glory and redemption! Mermaids join the swim team. Zombies get stoned in the bathrooms. Ninjas are the stealth service in the armies. The school staffs are really aliens from the faraway land of Tisnerpia. But you don’t really want to know about all this crap do you? Oh- you do? Really? Well, okay… Here’s the story…
^^^
Three members of the Tourette’s Forever Fan Club are standing in a dark and desolate hallway, chatting about things that really don’t matter:
“So he’s dead? Like, for real?” The ginger Tourettei, NiKewl, also member of the Siemen’s Advanced Force, says to her two fellow Tourettei’s.
“Guess so.” says a Lohan-like Ha-Lea, MORGON, also member of the Siemen’s Advanced Force, crossing her arms and staring up at the ceiling.
“Really is a shame…” says the blonde Tourettei, Emalay, the third member of the Siemen’s, shooting a glance at her shoes, full of remorse. “I heard that he doesn’t even have Tourette’s.”
“You’re kidding.” claims MORGON, “You must be hollyfied.”
“No- I don’t think so…” Emalay says, shaking her head. “I took my Anti-Holly pills this morning, just like everybody else…”
“You sure?” speaks NiKewl, putting a hand to Emalay’s forehead. “You feel warm. And you look a little green.”
“I’M NOT HOLLYFIED!” shouts Emalay, throwing her hands into the air, exasperated. “I TOOK THE ANTI-HOLLY PILLS. I’M FINE.”
“Whatever.” MORGON and NiKewl mumble in unison. They quickly look at each other-
“JINX!” They scream, and then are suddenly serious; causing the stupid group of three to laugh so hard it can be heard from Tisnerpia.
“Oh, you guys…” MORGON says, wiping tears from her face. “We’re missing The Game.”
“Yah, we are, aren’t we?” asks NiKewl, scanning the hallway as if she’s just noticed the absence of the rest of the student body. “Strange. We never miss a Game.”
“We better hurry…” says Emalay, wringing her hands, anxious. “I hate missing the clash.”
“We can take our doughnuts there!” announces MORGON. “Then I think we can get there on time…”
“Good idea.” NiKewl says, grabbing MORGON and Emalay’s arms and steering them toward the exit at the end of the hall.
^^^
“We’re all filled up on gas, right guys?” Emalay asks, staring at their doughnut vehicles, parked against a curb by Lincoln High Skewl.
“Yah, I had China fill all of them up this morning.” NiKewl says, checking the fuel tank and then unbuckling the bike lock from her doughnut.
“WELL AREN’T YOU JUST A KOOL KAT?” says MORGON, unbuckling her doughnut while Emalay does the same. MORGON’s doughnut is vanilla with multicolored sprinkle handles and a turbo engine. Her doughnuts also packed with emergency Anti-Holly pills. Emalay’s is a deep chocolate with red sprinkle handles and multiple storage compartments for their various Advanced Siemen weapon items. NiKewl’s is strawberry with white sprinkle handles. She’s the one with the Flux Compositor, allowing all the Tourettei’s to travel through time and space.
“Common, let’s do this thing.” Emalay clambers into her chocolate doughnut, sitting in the puffy pleather seat and revving the engine. She puts on red safety goggles that match her sprinkle handles and puts her foot on the gas. “What are you waiting for?”
The remaining two Tourettei’s follow suit, jumping excitedly into their doughnuts and slipping on their ultra kewl safety goggles. Within seconds, the Tourettei’s power up their doughnuts and take off at the speed of light, the wind blowing in their hair, fists pumpin’… heading for The Game site.
^^^
The Tourettei’s come to a hasty halt at the site of The Game, taking off their goggles and locking their doughnuts safely on a gleaming metal rack. They turn, and gaze at the colossal sized stadium before them, listening to the violent cheers from both competing schools. The team of the Siemen’s Advanced Force break into a run, just in time to slip through the huge wooden doors of the stadium.
“Just in time.” Says MORGON, wiping some sweat off her forehead and looking around. “Wait- where are all the players? They should all be lined up in this hallway, ready to fight Roosevelt’s team…”
“Don’t you Ha-Lea’s get it?!” shouts a dirty, surly fat man from behind a glass booth, giving out candy and soda to some students. He points a thumb at the entrance to the playing field. “Remember the rules? Last one’s in half to play!”
“WHAT?!” scream the Tourettei’s in horror.
“Is this a sick joke?!” says MORGON, jabbing a finger at the glass the fatty is hiding behind. “Don’t you know who we are? We’re part of the Siemen Advanced Force. We’re no players.” She crosses her arms and gives the fatty a dirty look.
“Seriously.” Says Emalay, pounding on the glass. “SER-I-OUS-LY.”
“Yah, what she said!” Yells NiKewl.
Fatty throws his hands into the air in a form of surrender. “Sorry ladies, but- RULES ARE RULES! There literally is nothing I can do. Now-“ he points a chubby finger to a cart fuel of smelly jerseys. “Put those on and get out there. The crowd is waiting and so is Roosevelt!”
The Tourettei’s give Fatty one last glare before turning and walking briskly to the cart full of jerseys. Emalay picks up a particularly moldy one and gives it a sniff. “DISGUSTING. Not even a Tisnerp would wipe their ass with this.” Emalay tosses it back in the cart and starts sorting through the pile, throwing the nasty ones on the ground. NiKewl and MORGON chose their jersey and throw them on, noses wrinkling against the smell.
NiKewl then walks back over to Fatty, who’s organizing Nutty Nut Bars into a neat pyramid. “We can use any kind of weapons we want, right?” She asks.
“Sure thing.” Spits chubby, wiping his hands on his greasy apron. “You need to go fetch ‘em?”
NiKewl nods. “Open the door.”
Fatty sighs and presses a button, allowing NiKewl to disappear behind the wooden door. The remaining two Tourettei’s stand together, giving each other knowing looks.
“This is bad,” says Emalay, “real bad.”
“The only thing that could make this worse is if a Holly showed up.” MORGON said. “or if it started raining…”
A thick sound of thunder shudders the walls of the stadium.
“ARE YOU SERIOUS.” MORGON says.
“I’m really enjoying your karma, MORGON.” Emalay states. “Loads.”
“SHAWT UP.”
The Fatty presses the button which gives off the most annoying beeping sound. The Tourettei’s roll their eyes at him as NiKewl passes the door, numerous (and EXTREMELY DANGEROUS) weapons polluting her arms. “Got them.” NiKewl says, passing out the weapons. “You guys ready?”
“Sure.” MORGON utters, still pissed about the rain. “Let’s just get this over with.”
“LET’S DO THIS THING!” screams Emalay, fist pumping the air.
The three Tourette’s Forever Fan Club members and the team of the Siemen
Advanced force grip their weapons tightly and turn to face the entrance to the area. Let The Games begin.
END OF PART I
WELCOME, TO THE LAND OF TISNERPIA.
This is the first post in a brand-new blog reserved only for major Tisnerps/Holly's/ and/or Farnians. If you are not a member of the Siemen's Advanced Force, contact Emalay at 605-759-5709 immediately for a application.
New FARNIA: THE LOST HOLLY'S update is coming soon!
New FARNIA: THE LOST HOLLY'S update is coming soon!
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